Thursday, September 25, 2008

Fulfilling my dream

Ever since I was a little guy I have wanted to be Superman. Up until I was... hmm... 27 or 28, I was waiting for the day I would discover I could fly, get my X-ray and laser vision, and be mostly invincible.

My loving wife (Mel over at frugal heart) reminded me that over the last few years, I am becoming more and more like Superman. Let me explain. In August of last year, I had surgery on my eyes so I could become a military pilot. The procedure is called PRK and is similar to LASIK but is an acceptable vision correction procedure for the military. After I healed, the eye doctor told me that my vision was at least 20/10... AT LEAST? He said they didn't have smaller numbers to test for better than 20/10. Going from 20/200, that is a huge difference. Sound like super-human? I think so.

Yesterday I flew by myself for the first time. It was pretty exciting having the wind rushing through your hair, wondering if the powers that allow you to fly would suddenly fail, and wondering how blue and red tights could be so comfortable. Just kidding. I did fly by myself albeit in an airplane. I have a few more kinks to work out before I attempt unassisted flight. However, since flying is a prerequisite, I am getting closer.

I eat lots of fiber and vitamins every day in an effort to strengthen my skin enough to stop a bullet. I think I am ready but my wife refuses to test my theory. Shucks. I am also trying to be vulnerable to Kryptonite. I eat about 10 servings a day and, so far, it just makes me regular. No sweats or weakness or near death experience.

So, as you can see, I am closer than ever to achieving my lifelong dream of becoming Superman. I'll let you know when those other, minor issues are taken care of (I will, of course, have to post anonymously so you won't know my true identity).


The Kid said...

When did you say you were going to start trainin' me?

Natalie said...

Hi, I am a friend of Kait's! We were planning to meet before you moved, but it didn't work out. Ya, all of my brothers wanted to be Spiderman and all of those super-heros also. I don't blame you!


Novelist said...

How do I get in contact with you the next time I'm in a 747 and I see one of the engines fall off?

Steven said...

Wait a minute...if you're exposing yourself to Kryptonite, aren't you building up an immunity to it? That may be why you aren't developing vulnerability to it.